Coping with Depression: It's Not All About the Meds

Depression is not just simple sadness. It’s way graver than that. Depression makes you feel helpless, hopeless and very exhausted. You do not seem to have the motivation to take care of your needs, much less other people’s needs. The sad part is, the person cannot seem to control, or perhaps has very minimal control, over his or her situation.

Yes, medication can help improve one’s condition. It facilitates better release of neurotransmitters in the brain. But medications alone will not cure a patient suffering from depression. There are a multitude of factors that affect a person’s mood; neurotransmitters are only partly responsible.

Self-Help

Self-help may be applicable only in the early stages of depression when the individual is still functional to some extent. If you are experiencing depression, try the following:

Set realistic goals - failure to meet goals which are too high can exacerbate feelings of depression and bring self-esteem down. Realistic goals are attainable, doable and achievable – and every successful achievement of a goal will make you feel good, satisfied and confident.

Try to engage in activities that you once found pleasurable - certain feelings are “programmed” into your brain. If you do things that give you pleasure, you will feel happier and will be able to counter feelings of depression. By doing things that give you pleasure, moreover, you will feel your life becoming more interesting and less depressing.

Do not isolate yourself - go out with friends. Talk to them about your problems and feelings. Most importantly, you should listen to their problems and feelings. This will take your mind off your own problems. This will also give you a sense of perspective; you will realize that other people have greater problems and that you really don’t have anything to feel depressed about.

Do something productive - go to the gym and work out. Stay busy at the office and clock in some overtime. Redecorate your home. Do something productive. This will not only increase your sense of self-worth. This will also make you too busy to feel depressed. Idleness will only give you time to wallow in depression.

Cut yourself some slack - remember that depression cannot be cured overnight. Do all of the above steps but don’t expect miraculous results. Depression cannot be cured overnight so give it some time. Don’t beat yourself up over it whenever you slip and feel some of your depression coming back. That won’t help any.

Support Groups

It is important to seek support. Depression can be overwhelming for a person to handle alone. Without support, the person can fall into a never-ending pit of depression.

Two of the major support groups for patients with depression are the Depression Group (sponsored by the National Mental Health Association) and the Depression and Related Affective Disorders Association (DRADA). These groups provide a safe forum where people with depression can talk about themselves openly, without feeling apprehensive about being judged harshly. After all, everyone is in the same boat – or has been – so one can be sure no one will start pointing fingers in condemnation.

In support groups of any kind, members often give each other tips on coping and lots of encouragement. Support groups operate on the premise that people will find it easier to overcome their depression if they realize that they are not alone, that other people are also experiencing the same things and that other people, too, get depressed.

People are also much more likely to believe others who truly understand what it feels like to be depressed. When someone in the group says he did this and that then he started feeling better afterwards, the other members of the support group are much more likely to believe him and follow his example, than well-meaning friends or co-workers who cannot know what it really feels like to battle with depression.

Group support is essential in the healing process. Members of the support group can encourage, inspire and empower you.

Family Support

Depression rarely affects just one person. If you are depressed and can not function, your family will probably feel the effects. Other family members may feel unwanted and ineffective, and they may slide into depression as well. It is a vicious cycle, and it must be stopped.

You should talk to your family. Tell them what you feel. Even if it seems like your family is not going to understand, you should try to make them understand by describing your condition and how depression is making you feel.

If, on the other hand, someone dear to you is experiencing depression, here some of the things that you can do to help him overcome depression:

Communicate - people suffering from depression need other people with whom they can talk without the fear of being rejected. You should encourage him to talk to you. Be empathetic and very understanding. You may not have all the answers and you may not have the solution to his problem, but you can provide emotional support.

Encourage - you should encourage him to engage in mild activities. Keep him busy so he will have less time to think depressing thoughts. Of course, you should also encourage him to talk to a psychotherapist. It would also be better if you can accompany him to his psychotherapy sessions.

Do not try to cheer him up - do not try to talk or cheer him out of his mood. Your failed attempt will only cause frustration and unnecessary conflict between the two of you. Do not set expectations and, more importantly, do not keep pressing him about getting better. He’ll only feel even more frustrated if he doesn’t get immediately better and thus fail your expectations.

Do not add to the pressure - you can suggest therapy, tell him to go back to work, encourage him to work out, or to remind him about his medication – but you must never pressure him to do all these things. He is already under too much pressure as it is; additional stress from you will not help. What he needs is your love, support and understanding.

Final Note

Depression, some say, is a curable condition. That may be so, but the fact remains that there is no single cure for depression – because there is no single cause. Yes, medication is vital to curing depression. However, permanent healing can only be possible when it comes from within and, of course, through the help of family and friends.